Mafia

Fellow revolutionaries! I see you group of misfits are in need of a leader to guide you to victory and prosperity. Have no fear: I have arrived.

I 'ave extended ze sign-ups because zer was some sort of problem wis ze conscription of more révolutionnaires. Somesing to do wis ze dates being difficult to understand... zis makes no sense to me, zer is only one true calendar and it is perfectly clear when we start. À la prochaine.

Hey you gotta try these baguettes they’re amazing

Sorry I'm late. Sorry. Oop. Okay all settled. Now where were we?

I am REALLY excited to try eating a crepe. I am NOT excited to try eating a frog or a snail.

I attend 100,000 Guineas on behalf of the American Congress, free of usury, to be paid upon convenience.

In order to assure a certain progress in this cause, I am further permitted to provide a wealth uncountable; my proceedings, my attention, and if need be, my life.

You see, I am an enthusiast on the subject of dethroning. But it is an enthusiasm of which my countrymen's Revolution has not extinguished. I arrive not only to escape the enfeebled politicking of Congress, but to exercise the health and mind of Independence; as to the species of exercise, I advise the gun.

Merde! Ze time machine waz to take me to ze age of ze great Greek philosophers, so zat I might at last find an apprentice to form to my will. Ow am I to find beautiful hairless boy students in zis lot of unbathed rabble?

Bonjour mes chers camarades,

Now remember guys, our goal is a constitutional monarchy and some liberal reforms. Nothing crazier than that, okay? We write a constitution, create a legislature, and bam we're done, end of story, everyone goes home happy. Like those American chaps, we're going to have a nice and clean revolution. (Say, did i ever tell you about that time Washington and I...)

Okay, Louis may despise me, but he's still our king, so let's go a bit easy on him and Mme Antoinette, okay? We're all reasonable people here. Steady moderate reform is what we want. Deep breaths, Nothing will go wrong. You won't let this get out of hand, right? Right...?

Why are you looking at me like that?

(Ah yes, did you know that I fought abroad in America for a few years? Yeah my fight-abroad experience was so eye-opening. Totally recommend it, the language requirement isn't even that high. You know in Ameerriica, they do everything sooo much better...)